Some things you just dont get used to. One of them for me is the negativity associated with my natural hair. I have not straightened my hair since middle school. Been natural so long, many people who know me have never seen me with straight hair. Natural/kinky hair is so second to my nature. Anyway, the more I have grown, the more I have come to accept every part of me. That includes my hair, my personality, my desires, my fears, my strengths, my "weaknesses" or areas of growth. As I love myself more, it always behooves me to find that people aren't as head over heels about me, or certain things about me, as I am.
Recently, I washed and deep conditioned (with coconut milk) my hair. I went to the back room of this Intern House I have been staying in and proceeded to comb my hair. My purpose was to detangle/remove shed hairs. When I came back to the front of the house, one of the guests staying with me for a short time, a brother from Equatorial Guinea, asked when I was going to comb my hair. Then, he kept asking. I finally told him that I had actually finished combing my hair and did not live to please him. It was all in fun. I am known for having a somewhat defensive naturre at times. Again, acceptance. It had been so long since I had received an openly negative comment about my hair, it shocked me a bit. Am I so naive that I thought I was immune? Maybe. But what I can say is that this time around, I was not as hurt as I would have been in the past. The middle school Auset, after growing out a bad perm, would have been very sensitive and ready to cry if someone said something mean about my hair. The new is so in love with my hair, that it shocks me others don't find it as fly as I do. And when they don't? Oh well, on to the next.
I would've looked at brother and kept on trucking. On to the next---->
ReplyDeleteFRIEND!!!!!!! (I'd originally had your name there) I came on your blog today to look for some encouragement for my upcoming BC #2 next week(of course I knew I would find it here!) and let me just tell you...this post stirred up so many emotions for me. If you could have witnessed the conversation and sequential meltdown that took place in my house last night when my mom & sis ganged up on me talking about a 'hair intervention' with a comb and other foolishness...well let me just say, thank God I made it out alive with literally only a few scratches and hurt feelings. If only I were more confrontational...lol
ReplyDeleteBrittnee, you need to live by my other motto. "She/He/They will be all right." I don't like the n word, but for the purposes of my point, tell them its your nappy hair. You'll do what you please. When people see how serious you are, they leave you alone. They think of you as one of those people who does what the heck YOU want for your own reasons.
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